1. How can you deal with negative body image?
What parts of your body does your mind negatively judge? First, notice that. For example, my mind tells me (because society spreads the message) that my body hair is gross and masculine. Once I identify the message from society, I notice how I feel about my body hair – and this changes from day to day, which is okay! I like to do little experiments with my body and the messages I receive about it from society. I’ve experimented with not shaving my legs, not shaving my armpits, not wearing any makeup, not wearing deodorant, and more. I notice how I feel and what my mind says while I’m experimenting. Body hair is something we can get rid of fairly easily if we want, but other parts of our bodies are harder or almost impossible to change. For things we can’t or don’t want to change, we have to work on acceptance. Acceptance means being okay with how something is, without trying to change it. If we can accept the parts of us that we can’t change, then we can even work towards loving and appreciating those parts. To take it back to my body hair, I can appreciate that it keeps me warm in winter.
All this being said, I want to say again that each body is perfect exactly how it is, no matter what society says. You don’t need to change a thing to belong!
2. How do external factors influence body image?
We aren’t born with judgments of our bodies – we learn them. We learn messages from our families, friends, media (like TV, movies, music), school, and our society and culture at large. Common messages I learned growing up include: thin is beautiful, fat is unhealthy, body hair is gross and masculine, straight hair is preferable to curly hair, skin should be even-toned, men should be muscular, women should have big breasts…I could go on and on. When people believe these restrictive and often harsh messages, it can lead them to do drastic, sometimes harmful things to try to make their bodies more accepted by society. The work is to identify the messages we’ve learned and decide for ourselves how we want to live our own lives.
3. How do I feel comfortable in my own skin?
What is making you feel uncomfortable in your body?
The first step is identifying what feels uncomfortable. Then, is there something you can do to make yourself feel more comfortable, or is this part of your body that you can’t change and need to accept?
4. To what extent are concerns about appearance normal? Is there a certain point when I should reach out for help?
Living in our society, everyone learns messages about how their body should look. This causes us to be aware of our appearance. If your awareness of your body is causing you distress to where you are having problems at school, with friends, or at home, that would be a great time to reach out for some help.
